Tell Me Your Jokes - Ask Annik - That's Phucked

Welcome Guest

Search | Active Topics | Members | Log In | Register

That's Phucked - Forum » Sex & Dating » Ask Annik » Tell Me Your Jokes

6 pages: 1 2 3 4 5 [6]

Tell Me Your Jokes

Options

Previous Topic · Next Topic

ulmul

Posted: Thursday, March 19, 2009 3:12:02 PM

Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member

Joined: 1/26/2009
Posts: 94
Points: -106
Location: N.W. England

HolyMaryMotherOfJesus wrote:

Oh and how did you become a member? Think

I'm still stuck at NEWBIE Eh?

I'm pretty sure it's the number of posts made that dictate rank, and you get 3 points per post but lose 50 or so for deleting them. Mr.P would know for sure. My advice would be to keep posting! :)

Slowly, One by One, the Pixies steal my sanity.

Mr. Phucked

Posted: Monday, April 06, 2009 8:17:47 PM

Rank: Administration
Groups: Administration

Joined: 5/23/2008
Posts: 249
Points: -1,460
Location: Sunny California

HolyMaryMotherOfJesus wrote:

Oh and how did you become a member? Think

I'm still stuck at NEWBIE Eh?

It takes a few posts...

If It's Phucked Up, We Write About It!
www.ThatsPhucked.com

K_Leigh89

Posted: Monday, April 06, 2009 8:21:31 PM

Rank: Member
Groups: Member

Joined: 3/29/2009
Posts: 23
Points: 69
Location: Saint John, NB

Why won't black people go on cruises?

They won't fall for that trick again.

Why's it worse to be a black jew?

You have to sit at the back of the oven.

What do black people have in common with sperm?

Only one in a million work.

Real Eyes Realize Real Lies

LordLurk

Posted: Thursday, April 09, 2009 12:52:49 AM

Rank: Newbie
Groups: Member

Joined: 4/8/2009
Posts: 2
Points: 6

Whats the difference between a Nazi and and a jew?
-45 degrees (talking about the hand motion).

A blonde and her friend were sitting in a bar watching the news. It was about a man who was going to jump off a 10 story building. The friend says to the blonde "I bet you $20 that he will jump." The blonde agrees and they watch as the man jumps off the building. The blonde hands the money to the friend but the friend says "I cant take this money, I saw this an hour ago on the news, its a repeat." The blonde replies, "I know! I saw it to, but I didnt think he would jump again!"

Whats the difference between a jew and a drug dealer?
-None, because they both love money.

Scientist predict that if 2 Chuck Norris round house kicks (CNRHK) ever collided, that the galaxy would cease to exist

Chuck Norris is so awesome, that he onced stopped an astroid from coliding into the Earth by daring it to come closer.

Theory has it that the big bang wasn't some random occurance, it was because Chuck Norris couldn't contain the awesomeness inside hiself.

What is the one thing you should never do when planning mass genocide with poisones fruit punch?
-Drink the first cup.

Why are there always rainbows wherever you see a leprechan?
-Because when they fart, its like a projectile rocket of rainbow gas.

enjoy :D

ulmul

Posted: Thursday, April 09, 2009 1:38:48 PM

Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member

Joined: 1/26/2009
Posts: 94
Points: -106
Location: N.W. England

How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex?
Phone her.

Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they think men care.

What is the definition of "making love"?
Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use a lubricant.

How many men does it take to change a light bulb?
None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long.

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it!

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
They’re both fun to ride until your friends find out.

What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.

What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you.

What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
After 10 years the job still sucks.

What’s the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.

Slowly, One by One, the Pixies steal my sanity.

HolyMaryMotherOfJesus

Posted: Saturday, April 11, 2009 7:03:53 PM

Rank: Member
Groups: Member

Joined: 2/16/2009
Posts: 15
Points: -52
Location: Reading

Mr. Phucked wrote:

HolyMaryMotherOfJesus wrote:

Oh and how did you become a member? Think

I'm still stuck at NEWBIE Eh?

It takes a few posts...

Ahh so what are the points for? :L

HMMoJ (Jack) x

HolyMaryMotherOfJesus

Posted: Saturday, April 11, 2009 7:27:25 PM

Rank: Member
Groups: Member

Joined: 2/16/2009
Posts: 15
Points: -52
Location: Reading

What do you get when you cross a nigger with an octopus?
I dunno but it'd sure be able to pick the cotton faster!

5 Black guys in a cadillac drive off a cliff. What's the sad part about this?
The cadillac seated 6.

A black guy in Africa with a parrot on his shoulder walked past a white guy and the white guy said 'Awwwhhh cute, does he talk?'
'I dunno, i just bought him' said the parrot.

How do you save a nigger from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.

Why was white chocolate invented?
So the niggers could get down and dirtaaay!

How do you start an Ethiopian marathon?
Roll a cheerio down a very large hill.

How do you find the richest man in Mexico?
Roll a peso down a hill and get the guy that caught it.

On 9/11 the two towers were destroyed.
Frodo was gutted!

Why did the Auschwitz shower heads have 12 holes?
Because the jews had 10 fingers.

What's the difference between a ton of coal and a thousand jews?
Jews burn longer.

Hev you heard about the new German microwave?
It has 10 seats inside.

Two jewish children are sitting on a roof next to a chimney.
'What are you doing up there kids?' yells a passer by.
The children reply, 'Waiting for our parents'.

How many jews can you fit in a volkswagen beetle?
1004: Two in the front, two in the back and 1000 in the ashtray.

Hope you guys enjoy :) I have more but i really can't be phucked to type them all up right now.

HMMoJ (Jack) x

sexymutha85

Posted: Sunday, April 12, 2009 5:15:48 PM

Rank: Member
Groups: Member

Joined: 7/3/2008
Posts: 29
Points: 90
Location: In my skin

These jokes have got me wondering how many closet racist white folks I know. It seems like everybody knows more black jokes than anything else.

Not offended.. Just making an observation.

Live for nothing or die for something.

HolyMaryMotherOfJesus

Posted: Wednesday, April 15, 2009 12:25:36 PM

Rank: Member
Groups: Member

Joined: 2/16/2009
Posts: 15
Points: -52
Location: Reading

sexymutha85 wrote:

These jokes have got me wondering how many closet racist white folks I know. It seems like everybody knows more black jokes than anything else.

Not offended.. Just making an observation.

I wouldn't use the term closet racist. racist jokes just happen to be the easiest to come up with and the funniest.
:d/

HMMoJ (Jack) x

CharlesJT

Posted: Wednesday, April 15, 2009 9:03:20 PM

Rank: Newbie
Groups: Member

Joined: 4/15/2009
Posts: 1
Points: 3
Location: New York

Nigger Jokes.

What's the difference between a pizza and a black man?
- A pizza can feed a family of 3 or more people

What do you say when you see your TV floating at midnight?
- Put it down NIGGER.

Why isn't the KKK racist?
- They always got a black man hanging around.

Why are black people so tall?
- Because they're negros (knee grows)

How long does it take a black lady to shit?
- 9 months.

What do you call a black priest?
- Holy Shit.

Why are black people so good in basketball?
- Because they like to Run, Shoot, and Steal.

Yo Momma jokes.

Your momma is so poor, there's a telethon in Africa raising money for her broke ass.
Your momma is so poor, she ran after a garbage truck with a shopping list.

These are the jokes that always make me laugh lol.

HolyMaryMotherOfJesus

Posted: Monday, April 27, 2009 3:51:00 PM

Rank: Member
Groups: Member

Joined: 2/16/2009
Posts: 15
Points: -52
Location: Reading

Remembered a few Chuck Norris jokes from way back:

Yeah so what, jesus can walk on water...
Well Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

Every night, the boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides the time.

Once, Chuck Norris sparred with wolverine. It was a 16 hour battle, resulting in Chuck Norris winning (duuh). However. Chuck Norris lost the smallest testicle of his many during the battle. You may know this as Jupiter.

Chuck Norris doesn't use spellcheck, his spelling checks itself.

Whenever Chuck Norris recieves a bill, he sends it back with a photo of him squatting naked, ready to pounce, attatched. He hasn't had to pay a bill. EVER.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the word of what he calls 'Everything around you'.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

President Bush DID have a plan to stop the war in Iraq. However, Chuck Norris was busy that day.

Chuck Norris has already been to mars. That's why there are no signs of life there.

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris once visited 'The Virgin Islands'. They are now 'The Islands'.

Some people can pee their names into snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name into concrete.

Chuck Norris can speak Braille.

Chuck Norris has no hair on his testicles. After all, hair doesn't grow on steel.

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pyjamas.

Chuck Norris's dog picks up his own poop because Chuck Norris doesn't take shit from anyone.

Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.

M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris 'Can touch This'.

When God said 'Let there be light', Chuck Norris said 'Say please...'.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

The Girraffe came to be when Chuck Norris upercutted a horse.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.

If you play 'Stairway to Heaven' by Led Zepplin backwards, you can hear Chuck Norris fucking your sister.

Death once had a 'Near-Chuck-Norris-experience'.

Chuck Norris eats the core of an apple first.

Chuck Norris never retreats - He just attacks in the opposite direction.

Chuck Norris counted to infintity. Twice.

And possibly my favourite Drool

- Chuck Norris's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No-one fools chuck Norris.

Hope you guys enjoyed Applause

Awesome site Mr Phucked Applause

keeps me entertained (Y)

HMMoJ (Jack) x

Mr. Phucked

Posted: Thursday, September 24, 2009 12:54:23 AM

Rank: Administration
Groups: Administration

Joined: 5/23/2008
Posts: 249
Points: -1,460
Location: Sunny California

I might have to post some of these jokes. Nice!

If It's Phucked Up, We Write About It!
www.ThatsPhucked.com

batateam

Posted: Monday, October 05, 2009 10:51:33 PM

Rank: Newbie
Groups: Member

Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 2
Points: 6
Location: New York

I introduce several Escorts website to you.

http://www.nyasianblue.com
http://www.pinkoutcall.com
http://www.newyorkasianescorts.com
http://www.nyescortasian.com
http://www.newyorkescortrb.com
http://www.biketrialseller.com
http://www.enjoygoodtimes.com
http://www.ottawaasiangirls.com
http://www.newyorkcityasianescort.com
http://www.asianescortsny.com
http://www.ottawaescortgirl.com
http://www.escortstorontodirectory.com
http://www.nycescortasian.com

Users browsing this topic

Guest

6 pages: 1 2 3 4 5 [6]

That's Phucked - Forum » Sex & Dating » Ask Annik » Tell Me Your Jokes

Forum Jump

You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You can create polls in this forum.
You can vote in polls in this forum.

Main Forum RSS :

YAFPro Theme Created by Jaben Cargman (Tiny Gecko)
Powered by Yet Another Forum.net version 1.9.1.8 (NET v2.0) - 3/28/2008
Copyright © 2003-2008 Yet Another Forum.net. All rights reserved.
This page was generated in 0.214 seconds.