I'm sure there's plenty better, but the best I can think of in recent memory was when I was with a girl and I decided to try the old "stick a finger in the ass" trick. I gave no warning and had no idea if she'd be into it or not, but went for it anyway. She didn't seem to mind at all and sorta enjoyed it as far as I could tell. It's just when I pulled my finger out, INSTANT smell of shit just fills the room.

I look at my finger and it is just covered in brownie batter. Here's the thing, we were at her place on her couch so I figured since it was her poo, I'd just wipe it off on the arm rest when she wasn't looking. She either didn't notice, or doesn't mind shit on her furniture.

ok... here is one of mine. It's not the worst thing for me, but it was for my buddy!

Myself and two other guy friends (one is his step son) and one of my female slutty friends are out for the evening.
About 1am we all head back to my place for some drinks before heading home.

One of the other guys asks her to show us her breasts. She said she will if we take off all our shirts. We do.
2 minutes later she is laying on my sofa topless with one nipple in my mouth and the other in the step sons with my buddy removing her jeans (Ever sucked on nipples with another dude? There is an invisible line that you don't cross. You each have your own boob and you don't share!)

Friend is now attempting to fuck her but can't because he's had some E and can't get it up. He's slapping his dick saying "come on baby, don't be shy"
Eventually he gets it up and starts fucking her. He eventually can't cum and get's tired. It's now the step sons turn to fuck her whilst my friend starts receiving a BJ.
Step son is done in a few minutes.
What do I do? Well being that she has just been fucked and I know she has fucked at least 150 guys. I really like my dick and don't want it to fall off.
Therefore whats a guy to do? Blow your load all over her tits, then rub it all in. So that's what I did.

Step son and I go grab a beer, sit back and watch my friend try to fuck the chick missionary style on the sofa.
Very soon the cum has dried up, leaving no visible trace.
Friend is fucking her and getting all crazy. Starts to suck on her nipples with lots of good licking and tongue motion.
Step son and I look at each other and laugh!
I say "so... buddy... you do realize you're licking all my cum of her nipples right?"
He almost hurled on my sofa. He made us swear we would never tell anyone. I still haven't, nobody knows his name is Jack.

One time I was drunk off my ass. Had several shots of bacardi and drank beer until I passed out. Now the story I am about to tell is what my friends witnessed, because I have no memory of this occurring, because I was too fuckin drunk.

So I am trying to have sex with this girl at our party (one of the numerous school sluts). But of course, I have whiskey dick, because of how hammered I was. So shes working on me, sucking me off trying to get me hard. Now fellas, imagine being drunk off your ass and trying to hold your urine, it just doesn't happen. Long story short, I urinated in her mouth, and after she jumped up in disgust and embarrassment, I stood up, dropped my pants and urinated on the couch as if it were a toilet. I don't know why I did this, but its what my friends told me, and I believe it because the next day, I saw the couch outside, and the cushion hanging, soaked.

The explanations given are my assumptions of why I performed these actions. I played it off and pretended like it was an intentional crude joke that I pulled on the girl. I felt bad for my friends because after I was done urinating, I went back to bed and they stayed up, and cleaned after me. I am now referred to as "piss-couch" by my friends. fml.

One time my (ex) girlfriend and i went out to meet up with her friend Jessica at a party. The night went on, we all got fucked up and decided to walk to jessica's house for a little after party. We were drinking and laughing and having a good time when i suddenly started to get really horny. Being one of my favorite fantasies, i asked if jessica and my girlfriend would mess around. They agreed and started with play wrestling and not wanting to be left out, i joined in.

My girlfriend pulled my pants down and asked me if it was ok if Jessica pleased me while she pleased her. I don't know if it was the booze or a set up or what, but as soon as i said yes she screamed "i knew you always wanted to fuck her!" and straight punched me in the junk. As i was lying in pain she threw my pants at me, then with the help of jessica's brother, threw me out on the street to walk the 5 miles home, in the dark, in pain, and fucked outta my mind.

well i found out later she was fucking around with my best friend, which makes me feel better that i fucked her sister and knocked out 3 of said friends teeth

10Same problem. I have Edmonton Escort Reference Version Edmonton Escorts 14 and an Asus G73Jh quad Edmonton Asian Escort core w lots of memory. Very fast on encoding to FLAC. All 8 cores used. Desperately slow going Edmonton Asian Escorts from FLAC to audio (not data) CD. Nero does it in 2 minutes or less.